Watch out for these subtle signs that the guy isn’t worth your time
In a perfect online dating world, the narcissists, commitment-phobes and other undesirables would label themselves as such in their profiles. But since that honesty would ruin their chances of meeting mates, they hide their unappealing qualities—or at least they think they do. See more than one of the below, though, and you may want to keep on clicking.
1. He has only one picture. If he isn’t willing to provide more photos, he may be hiding something about his looks, usually his age or weight. Or it could signal something more troublesome if the profile’s also low on written details, he may not be taking online dating seriously if he’s not devoting much time to his profile.
2. He didn’t write a bio. Most online dating sites allow you space to say more about yourself, in addition to answering the form questions and prompts. If your match skipped this section, again, you should question whether or not he’s actually looking for a relationship. I know it’s daunting to complete this part, but, If you can’t feel a connection with his profile, it may be challenging to feel drawn to him offline.
3. He describes himself as “loyal” and “trustworthy.” These are things about which you shouldn’t have to reassure people from the get-go. Specifically calling out these qualities can signal that you’re anything but. Don’t immediately discard the potential match; instead, proceed with caution. If someone seems sweet and decent in the rest of his profile, it’s possible that he got terrible writing advice from a friend.
4. He has a checklist of characteristics for his ideal mate. He wants a woman who likes hiking, spending time with family, dogs (specifically his two black labs), nonfiction, the mountains over the beach, traveling abroad and trying new cuisines. Not that he’s picky or anything. Long lists usually mean that your match has had a lot of bad experiences—and probably a terrible divorce—so he’s looking to avoid these issues in the future. In the end, however, it’s perhaps the least egregious of the red flags. You’re getting a glimpse of his baggage, and everyone has baggage.
5. He uses words like can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t and don’t. He doesn’t want a woman who works long hours. She shouldn’t have pets. He can’t stand talking about politics. A cousin of the previous red flag, an extensive list of negative declarations could show the dater is set in his ways. Still, you shouldn’t necessarily steer clear of this man. Many people translate differently on the page from what they are in person. The first couple of emails can give you a clearer sense of his flexibility.
6. Most of his sentences start with “I.” It can mean this man is completely self-absorbed. On the other hand, “I” is the easiest way to talk about yourself in the narrative section of an online dating profile. So focus on the context and whether the “I” statements sound like bragging. If not, It’s way more telling whether his attention is balanced in messages and on actual dates with you.
7. He says he’s “not like other men.” Comparing himself to other guys multiple times in his profile could be a sign of low self-esteem, perhaps from a lack of dating luck. Boasting that he’s ‘not like others’ could mean he holds himself in high regard and expects you to stroke his ego. You strike up a conversation if you like the other aspects of his profile and ask him to describe himself. If he continues to focus on comparisons to others, then don’t pursue him.
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