Beautiful Life Magazine

How a highly ambitious woman can achieve harmony with a less-ambitious man

• Lower your expectations — Recognize that your man is never going to be as ambitious, driven or motivated as you are. He simply doesn’t have or want the energy level that you do. So you may as well learn to appreciate him for his strengths.
• Consider your cup half full — If you see your husband as lazy, selfish and feeling that the world owes him something, start searching for his good qualities. Turn these negative thoughts around and consider these characteristics as strengths instead of weaknesses. For example, you might say, “He knows how to relax. He enjoys life. He’s easy-going. He appreciates the little things in life.”
• Let him teach you how to relax — Try to learn from him. He can help you to balance your life. If you see him as someone you can relax with, enjoy the intangibles of life with, and appreciate him for his strengths rather than feeling resentful of them or trying to change him, you can find harmony in this relationship. One of the women who participated in our survey had learned this secret; “He occasionally gets me to relax. When I’m feeling lazy and want to sit around, I know he’s all for it. He helps me keep perspective.”
• Be aware that your man craves your time and attention — He wants someone to pay attention to the things that interest him, as much as you want him to pay attention and be supportive of your goals. One of the hardest things for a highly ambitious woman to do is spend time on anything that she deems frivolous. If your husband’s interests seem frivolous, you will have a hard time giving him the time and attention he needs to be happy in the marriage. Instead, remind yourself, “My marriage is important. My husband is very important to me. This is important to him, so it is important that I do this for him or with him.”
• Less-ambitious men have egos, too — They still need to feel like they are the man of the house. Never belittle him, his interests or call him lazy. A woman who shows appreciation and support for her husband’s efforts and for who he is instead of what he achieves will have a happy husband who feels loved. As one woman explained, “Encourage him in his job and thank him for all his help. He plays an important role in your success. Make special time for him and keep the romance alive.”
• Keep commitments — It hurts your husband and family when you break promises. “Everything and everybody gets put second place to her business. We can have plans to do something and they can get bumped for her customers,” explained one disgruntled husband.